Belonging Project Podcast

Fiorenza Rossini (00:03.086)
I’ve been thinking about how much changes when you become a parent.

Fiorenza Rossini (00:28.76)
So I’ve been thinking about how much changes when you become a parent. And there are obvious things like sleep or lack of sleep and schedules. And I think the impact of a single action, a single yes or no to a request can also be quite a significant change as a parent. I mean, I guess in general as well, but especially as a parent. Ouvada, the impact that a single action, a single yes or no.

to a request can be quite.

Fiorenza Rossini (01:06.402)
The impact of a single action, a single yes or no to a request can also be quite significant as a parent, or rather the impact it might have on our time. And I think there’s often a knock-on effect. I want to share five things I have stopped doing since becoming a parent. This is not advice, but this is really me sharing some observations and perhaps they will inspire you.

Also, I want to say that those are not changes that come easily. Certainly they didn’t come easy to me. It’s things that I’ve worked on and some of them I’m still working on. Right. #1 is over -committing. I don’t say yes to everything anymore. There’s been some self-discipline involved here. And also there’s some kind of a shift that happens when you realize that when you say yes to one thing, it actually means that they

it actually means that you’re saying no to something else. And that something else is usually something that is not… Whether that something else is another work opportunity or something with the family or something for me. So now what I do is I pause more. Of course, you know, I have not always successful at this, but this is my intention.

So I pause and I take a little bit of time. So I make sure that I take a beat before giving a response. So for example, for any work engagement that requires a significant prep time, I have set myself a set of question that I go through and I answer. And then depending on how I answer them, it gives me a direction of travel. Is it something that I can do right now that I want to do right now? Or is it something that you know,

I have to decline for the time being. # 2 is attending every meeting fully prepared. This one surprised me and it might surprise you, so hear me out. I used to think that being a good professional meant that you had to go, you had to be fully prepared across everything all the time time. Yes and no, what I mean by that is that now I’m way more selective. When I’m not 100 % sure,

Fiorenza Rossini (03:28.814)
you know, why is it that I’m invited to this meeting in what capacity? I really try to limit the guesswork as much as possible and I ask ahead of the meeting what is really expected of me. And I’ve been surprised honestly at times and really showed me that my guesswork can be wrong. # 3 saying yes too quickly. There was a time when I thought that responsiveness equals professionalism.

Well, I think I was kind of wrong there. So now I’ve built a little bit of space a little bit of a buffer Even something as simple as okay Let me come back to you on that has become a kind of a protection also a little bit of a habit and there’s nothing wrong with that Okay So it’s not from the work itself, right? It’s actually a little bit like reflex that we have and so

I actually worked on creating this new reflex, this new habit where I just kind of check in with myself before agreeing to do something. And that moment of pause that I’ve created has become quite important and it really helped me be more intentional and be mindful of what I say yes to. # 4 trying to prove my worst constantly. This one is internal. This one is about inner work, but maybe it is

the most important. There is something about becoming a parent that reshapes how you relate to validation. I don’t feel the same need to constantly demonstrate value, my value in every interaction, every small meeting, every small conversation. And that’s okay. And honestly, it’s a game changer. # 5 holding myself to a pre-parenthood pace. holding myself to a pre-parenthood pace

This is really big. I stopped pretending that my capacity is the same as it used to be. Honestly, that was not good. I don’t reconsider. Some days I can move quickly and think clearly and do a lot. And those are other days. I just can’t. And instead of interpreting that as inconsistency or that something is wrong and I need to kind of rethink everything, no.

Fiorenza Rossini (05:51.877)
This is just reality. I’m just seeing it as reality. It’s me having a different pace, a different rhythm. It’s not good or bad. There’s no judgment to have. that. So I think it’s a really, it’s a great opportunity to practice mindfulness.

Alright, so those were my five… Alright, those were the five things that I’ve stopped doing since becoming a parent. I hope that they provide you with some inspiration. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out or write a comment. I don’t think that these shifts make me less ambitious, just want to say that. And if anything, think they’ve made me more intentional, more mindful about where my energy goes and where I want it to go.

And also I just want to say that I wonder how many of us are still holding ourselves to rules that we’ve outgrown, right? Perhaps goals or ideals that we’ve outgrown. So I’m just going to stop here and leave it to that with some food for thought and I’ll speak to you soon.