Belonging Project Podcast

Fiorenza Rossini (00:52)
Today, I’m sitting down with Elysha Weissglass, who is a leadership coach and people development partner. Hi, Elysha. Welcome. How are you today?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (01:01)
Hi Fiorenza it’s so nice to see you. I’m doing well.

Fiorenza Rossini (01:04)
Is it also super warm for you today? I know you are on the other side of the pond.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (01:09)
Yes!

No, it’s actually gorgeous here today. We have like, but it was 90 earlier this week, which is super hot for us. Super hot for you? Yeah.

Fiorenza Rossini (01:15)
Yeah, yeah, so we have that version now, yeah,

for a few days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, so we are gonna deep dive into what you do, of course. we can start with just a quick question. So you describe yourself as a leadership coach and people development partner.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (01:21)
So…

Fiorenza Rossini (01:35)
And my quick question is if you had to give yourself a title that describes who you are outside of work, like maybe on a Tuesday, 7 a.m. or a Sunday afternoon, what would that title be?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (01:48)
What a good question. Who would that title be?

You know, it’s so funny because my gut instinct was that I’m a doer like I’m doing something. But I actually think that is very appropriate given the work that I do like this old version of me. And right now I’d be somebody who is like a seer like I’m sitting and like right when you say 7am on a Tuesday, I am like

sitting with my child, just like looking at her, eating muffins, whatever, right? On a Sunday afternoon, maybe sitting, maybe I’m a sitter, sitting with friends on the patio, just like being in the moment now.

Fiorenza Rossini (02:22)
I’m

Oh, I love it. I love it. have a child, I think they are very good at reminding us to sit a little bit more and to be more mindful of the present moment. And it can be so hard because there’s so many grown-up stuff that can go on, that can, yeah, just kind of…

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (02:38)
Mm.

Fiorenza Rossini (02:52)
happen in our minds, so I quite like that. Right, and there’s something in your work experience that I really find fascinating. You’ve worked in schools, you’ve worked as a school teacher and counselor. How was that experience for you?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (02:53)
Yeah.

Humbling, definitely humbling. But it was great. It was actually my first moment probably at a young age of being able to say like, this is what I wanted to do. I was doing work I had set out for a really long time to do. And it is really…

it has shaped my lens, right? To be able to see, I worked in high schools. So actually like the interesting pieces, I wanted to work with three and four year olds. That was like where I was initially setting out to work with families with kids with that age. And I ended up in high schools. And I remember talking to my dad about…

I don’t know if this is what I really want. Like it wasn’t my original goal. And he was like, well, what do you like about working with young children? And I was like the rapid growth, like this ability to like watch them in real time and like be an observer and a support that kind of rapid growth. And it was, it’s so funny as a parent now to hear my, can hear my dad saying back, it’s just the same thing, but they’re a little bit bigger. Like, and I really had that experience of, of being able to.

enjoy connecting with kids and families through these periods of just intense development and growth. And it shaped, a lot of my focus was on transition. entering ninth grade year when kids are 14 in the US and 12th graders, so who are about to leave and go out in the world and do their own thing. And I just became so interested in all of the identity shifts and the ways that people, both young people and parents,

navigate through those pieces.

Fiorenza Rossini (04:42)
It’s very, it’s very much, as you said, two big transition moments That must have been a really fascinating experience. I’m curious, what is it that you learned through your experience working in schools that has perhaps shaped how you view leadership?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (05:01)
Yeah, one specific story, or, you know, I always laugh that nobody will tell you the truth faster than a high schooler, right, or a teenager. And those of us who work with or parent teenagers, I’m sure know that. And so there’s this moment in time where, you know, when I was a young teacher, I thought it was my job to be very bubbly and energetic and like, school is great, everything is wonderful, and everything’s great all the time, but that’s not the reality. And…

At one point a student shared with me feedback that like when you’re always so happy in a way that feels like it’s a show, it like basically I don’t trust you anymore. Right. They were like, well, I think like, okay, like what am I doing here? Like there’s no value here. And so it has totally, I mean, I received that feedback at a young age, right? So maybe one lesson there is the value of feedback. But the second is the value of authenticity and like what it really means to show up for people in a way that’s true to you and why.

Fiorenza Rossini (05:34)
Thank

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (05:54)
that’s so valuable and how important that impact is.

Fiorenza Rossini (05:57)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you’ve come to this realization and observation quite early on because that was the start of your career, right? How did you decide that you wanted to transition, out of schools, and into corporate and later on coaching?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (06:10)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Great question. And probably one of my biggest identity shift moments when I think about the work, right, we’re so connected to what we do, especially in the US. I think that’s actually been an interesting thing to observe.

But I was, as a school counselor, so I was a school counselor in New York City for four years. And there became a point where as a counselor, I was doing almost as much, if not more adult work as I was working with kids. So was spending all this time with parents, coaching teachers, coaching advisors, supporting different people across our larger school network on how to…

make connections, like have difficult conversations, right? Do all these just like really important pieces of the work. And I was just doing a lot of it and really enjoying it. And I found myself in this space, will name that it was also the pandemic. we had this sort of everybody is reflecting on how you’re spending time and where your energy is going and what’s next. And I had always been more successful chasing what’s exciting.

instead of having to run from something or waiting until, you know, to see what’s next. And so I took a leap. said, you know, I really am enjoying the adult side of things. I learned that, you know, this is something I can do in a different space. really believe it. My my college research was an attachment theory and like parent child relationships. And I really I always have this vision of that. There’s like a cartoon of like what happens at work. Right. And how that person takes that home.

And so I decided to take a risk, an experiment and said, let’s see if I like this in the corporate space. And I’ve been really enjoying it.

Fiorenza Rossini (07:57)
That’s amazing, well done because it takes a lot of courage as well to decide, right? That time has come that you wanna make that shift for sure. And I think you’re right. You’re spot on COVID and the lockdown, the lockdowns, plural, have created lots of…

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (08:14)
Yeah.

Fiorenza Rossini (08:19)
reflection point or led lots of people to have this.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (08:21)
Yeah. And I realized

as I’m saying it, I’m like, it sounds like I just decided to take a risk, right? It was probably a year of even pre pandemic of like, who am I? Is this what I want to be doing? You know, I’m laughing thinking about my partner and be like, didn’t quite happen just like that. Right? Like there’s these moments of checking in with yourself and noticing when things didn’t quite feel right anymore. And building the capacity and the confidence and working with a coach to get myself to the next place.

Fiorenza Rossini (08:44)
Yeah.

completely resonate with what you’ve described here. That’s also how it happened for me actually. On paper, I transitioned from corporate into coaching during COVID, but actually it was something that I had been working on for a bit more than a year prior. So exactly, quite similar, quite similar.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (08:57)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Fiorenza Rossini (09:12)
And right now you have quite a unique position where you work as a coach, but you’re also working inside organizations. that gives you a dual vantage point and it helps you sharpen everything. Could you tell us a little bit more about this?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (09:29)
Yeah, I’ve actually had it so funny naming this because I had several moments in the last two weeks where I was like, wow, I’m seeing things really in like the full cycle or full the full picture of what’s going on. But really, you know, I think being able to be inside the organization while also coaching people individually lets me see sort of like the deeper side of what’s going on with an individual, right? Like in our coaching work, we really go deep. can like unlock.

and uncover things that are below the surface for a lot of different people and a lot of different experiences. And while I’m in an organization, I see the bigger picture, right? Like why somebody might be struggling. I think a great example is like if somebody is layered in an organization, right? Someone was brought in in between their old boss and them, that doesn’t always feel great. But there’s like a lot of opportunity that can come with it.

And so being a part of the organization, I have multiple perspectives there, right? Like I get to see and feel and actually like coach somebody within that organization around that topic. And I can help them understand the bigger, you know, what they need to be able to move forward with something that might be frustrating. ⁓ So it like really gives me this sort of like…

Fiorenza Rossini (10:35)
Mm.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (10:39)
I don’t know, being able to see the bigger landscape or the bigger picture of what our clients are experiencing or what’s possible maybe.

Fiorenza Rossini (10:47)
Have you found that in some conversation you were actually able to say to your client, well, you know what, can I share my perspective with a wider lens?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (10:56)
Yeah, mean, often I’m sure you feel this tension with ⁓ coaching too, right? Often I want them to see those possibilities. But I do think like in the in the spirit of transparency, absolutely. I’m like, here are some things that I’m learning or I’ve observed in other spaces. And you know, it’s funny, it’s not just with that organization, it’s always expanding to have multiple types of clients helps with that too, right? Like when I work often with people returning to work or with newish.

as I ish because within the first few years, parents, but I also have clients who are in like just career transition or trying to figure out their place in career. And I, you know, I had one in particular who was having a really hard time with a manager who was returning from their leave. And so it’s like a similar piece where I’m like, I rarely get that side of the experience firsthand just because of who my clients are in this exact moment.

Fiorenza Rossini (11:39)
Hmm.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (11:48)
And so it’s really helpful, like as I’m building out like my support and programming for returning to work parents and for this other person to have these multiple perspectives.

Fiorenza Rossini (11:57)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And tell us a bit about the work you do when you’re inside organizations. Is that coaching? What does that look like?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (12:07)
Great question. Well, I always say I’m working with people and organizations that in like this moment when everything is expanding faster then people can catch up. And so what I’m doing right now is really focused on strategic

planning on people growth and performance. So, you I feel really lucky that one of my anchor organizations or the organization that I’m spending the most time with right now is incredibly committed to making sure that they are developing people in a way that will be able to keep up or at least like be close behind how fast they’re growing, which is so rare. So often.

organizations that say, okay, we’ll just go really quickly, see who is still here and then build the programs for them, right? Or like kind of expect people to fall off. And the organizations I work with know that their people are their greatest asset, and that they want to build programs that support them. And so it could look different depending on the organization. For right now, what that looks like is

laying out like the strategic programming, right? What does it look like to bring someone on board? What does it look like when they’re here? How are they getting maybe coaching or manager development or leadership development to make sure that they have the skills necessary to be successful here and also continue to grow if they want to.

Fiorenza Rossini (13:27)
That’s such an important piece of work that you’re doing, not just with individuals, but also organizations. All right, transitioning a little bit into another topic. Something else that you’ve mentioned is that you grew up with one of your parents being diagnosed with a chronic illness when you were quite young.

And that had a big impact on you. Could you tell us a little bit about the impact, perhaps how it changed your perspective on time and on growth and on strength?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (14:03)
Mmm.

Great question. It’s interesting because in my gut, what I think about now is that it has taught me about just the value of time and the importance of being present in every moment. When I say I’m just sitting and being with the people, I’ve had to work very hard to get there. But that is what I’ve learned. That’s been the lesson.

of having a parent who like very obviously declined physically and mentally over the course of my life, pretty early on. And what’s interesting or where a lot of the learning comes from is that I didn’t notice that from the beginning, right? Just that like, instead of being aware of those pieces,

I just like always sort of felt this tension of what’s next, what’s going to happen, the anxiety of what’s possible. And I really felt like I missed out on some of the realities of what was. And that’s where the root of where a lot of my work lies now is that like, you know, things don’t work out all the time or things don’t always fit into some perfect box.

And there are ways to notice what really is here in the moment so that you can have connection and joy and like feel what’s really there. And that was a journey for me. Like as a young person becoming an adult with a parent who was declining and wasn’t quite able to be there with me or for me in the same way that she had been, it didn’t always bring out the best in me.

and it didn’t always bring out the best in my relationships. It did bring out a lot of intense work energy, right? I focused a lot of time and energy into what I felt like I could control. But there were some missed moments there and I really am committed now to living in a way where I can really be with the people and the things and do the things that are most valuable to me.

Fiorenza Rossini (15:48)
It’s about learning that joy can coexist with difficult moments. ⁓ It’s hard. It’s hard.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (15:54)
Mm-hmm.

Fiorenza Rossini (15:59)
especially when you have a child.

Do you have any piece of advice for someone who is perhaps listening and struggling with finding moments of joy while there is difficult…

perhaps health-related challenges going on for their loved ones and having little children, young children at home.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (16:22)
and

Yeah, I mean, it’s so common with our gen… or like true sandwich generation right now where our parents are aging and our kids are in kind of tough ages and stages, I think, for many people. And, you know, I think the hard thing to do, but the most useful thing to do is to actually notice what is here with you right now.

And so in my work that often means, or with my friends, or with myself, it often means like slowing down, acknowledging what you’re feeling, like saying it’s okay, giving yourself the moment to say like, it’s okay to feel worried about what’s happening next or overwhelmed with what’s going on. Maybe even an exercise I love to do, I actually just wrote about that, is like grieving what isn’t here.

Right? Like letting go of like this moment isn’t a time when I can feel, you know, for me, it’s like, I am not mothering with my mother. Right? That is something that I feel like I’m missing out on. Or I am not in a place where like my kid is spending a weekend with her grandparents. That’s just like not the dynamic I have. And I have had to acknowledge that.

know and like to be able to make space for the joy for the things that are good like for us to be able to like pick a weekend to go out visit my dad in a way that works for all of us. So those are my biggest pieces of advice is really just to see you as you are which is way harder than anyone gets credit for right like it means that you have to be accepting of those things.

Fiorenza Rossini (17:55)
Yeah. And there is something you mentioned a little bit earlier “it didn’t always bring the best of me”. And I think our generation perhaps has this perfected vision of what, you know, millennial parenting looks like.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (18:09)
Mm.

Fiorenza Rossini (18:09)
⁓

And so when you allow yourself to be perhaps human in the moment and you’re feeling worried, concerned, or there’s so many thoughts racing in your mind, it can be challenging to actually sit with them and acknowledge them because that could be having an impact on your present moment right now if you’re feeling all those things and…

and your child is with you. But at the same time, your child perhaps learns that, you know, mommy is being human and mommy is having strong feelings and hopefully that’s also something that is good to model.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (18:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, that’s when like, just noticing, I think that’s what that space creates, right? Like an acknowledgement that it’s okay for me to take 10 minutes in my room to breathe, look at myself and actually ask, okay, what do you need in this moment to continue to move? To not feel paralyzed, to continue to be with the people I love and to like live in a way that is aligned with your values, right? If you’re always,

10 steps ahead or in a different place, then I have so many, I have my own experience, but so many people say it’s like, feel like I’m sitting in the backseat of my own life and just like watching it, someone else drive.

Fiorenza Rossini (19:23)
Yeah, stepping away into a room, just being on your own for a few minutes can actually really be re-centering.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (19:31)
and saying those things you need. I keep thinking about like a couple weeks ago, I picked up my kid from school and I do not cook in my house. That is my partner’s job. And so he was gonna be out for dinner and I was like, okay, we gotta get pizza, do something. And I just like was having a hard time thinking about it. And when I picked her up, I was like, we need ice cream. Like that’s it. And I just something like so silly.

But it was like that ability to like just check in with like, actually, what do we need right now? Like, we will be fine if we have dessert first. Maybe we’ll be better off. And not having to do the perfect picture of an evening of dinner, especially if it’s not something that feels important to me was really, really useful. Thank you. I’m gonna think of my routine, ice cream first, right? Just two and a half.

Fiorenza Rossini (20:10)
Yeah, well done on that because that that can be challenging.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old is your little one?

She’s two and a half. Okay, okay. And so I know you mentioned your mom isn’t with us anymore. Do you find yourself talking about your mom to your daughter already? She’s still young.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (20:23)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so my daughter is actually named her middle name is for my mom to honor my mom So my mom’s name is Linda and her name is Lily and so It is interesting because even just saying her whole name which I say quite often Like is almost calling upon or honoring my mom in some ways And so she’s top of mind and I do I find myself talking about my mom a lot

It feels important. came from a family where we didn’t talk about grief or death or loss. My father’s father actually died before I was born too. And it was just nothing. We didn’t talk about it. And honestly, because…

It’s about being able to hold your child’s emotion. Your point about modeling what’s real, what you’re really feeling, is so important and really sits with me because, and I think about it all the time, because my family and I don’t think I’m alone here ⁓ came from just sort of this, that really wanted to sweep it on the rug. It was almost as if my parents couldn’t quite hold the possibility that something would make me sad.

or experience a lot of emotion, which was unfortunate for them because I am high E, very emotional. like anything could really, you we laugh that I’m crying at commercials all the time because this is just like, I’m a real feeler. And so we didn’t spend a lot of time on those things. And I, so now it feels really important to me to be able to say.

who my mom was, what she would like, what she wouldn’t like, what she looks like. We look at pictures, what she would have wanted to be called if my child got to meet her. And I tear up sometimes and it’s fine. I will say we are at a space and time or a stage now where my kid notices, right? And she’s asking or she’ll say things like, don’t be sad. And so learning to say like,

yeah, I miss her or this is what, you know, I’m getting emotional now, but this is like why we’re talking about her or you should know who she is. Feels meaningful.

Fiorenza Rossini (22:31)
It’s a beautiful modeling that you’re doing. I know I’m expressing positive judgment here and that’s, you know, we don’t need it.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (22:39)
We’re all

just doing our best, you know? I do, my hope is that, I do feel, you I always say like my mission in life is that people embrace change and transition with kind of some sort of energy. It doesn’t always have to be positive, but some energy or some oomph, right? Or excitement about it instead of fear and retreat.

And so my hope is that there’s a lot of great people doing work around grief and loss talk now, but that by just talking about this and like being really, you know, sharing about how I feel that my kid won’t be fearful or retreat around the tougher experiences in life.

Fiorenza Rossini (23:15)
How do you think people can find belonging in those messy moments such as the ones we talked about just now?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (23:23)
Such a great question. So think that like is the challenge, right? Is that when we, so much of the work that we do is around these moments when people tend to retreat. They like almost either want to be invisible or feel invisible when you’re grieving or when you’re a new parent or when you just don’t feel like you have your footing yet.

there’s like this gap between who you were and who you’re becoming, I feel like that is the part where belonging is really tough. But I think that it really shows up when you’re able to say something out loud that you haven’t been saying elsewhere. So I think there’s one sense of belonging when like, you voiced whatever is going on inside of you.

It could be to anyone, could be to yourself, right? It could be on a writing or podcast, whatever it is, but sometimes just saying something out loud like gives truth to the experience and it could help you feel belonging. And then finding, there is like some push there around connecting or sharing with someone else. It could be a coaching container, it could be a friend.

It could be a parent or sibling, just saying like, really, here’s what’s happening for me right now, and knowing that you’re not alone. Being witnessed in that space is really more valuable than I could explain with words.

Fiorenza Rossini (24:49)
Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes that it’s just about being witnessed, feeling witnessed, feeling seen and heard, not having someone trying to fix us because I think we do try to fix ourselves a lot or to fix the situation a lot to gain control. And that is such a source of, you know, spiraling thoughts.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (24:57)
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Fiorenza Rossini (25:11)
Thank you for being here. I hope you’re enjoying today’s episode. If you want to hear more about this topic, join me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/fiorenza-rossini

Fiorenza Rossini (25:29)
How did you get to decide that you wanted to work on transitions and the inflection moments? I think that is your word. The inflection points.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (25:42)
Hmm. You know, it’s so funny. I’m thinking like, did I decide? It sort of came to me, right? Like there’s these pieces where we don’t always actively choose the thing that is, that we’re doing all the time.

I do believe that the work that I did in schools around this entering ninth grade and exiting 12th grade piece probably helped move me in this direction. I also have like maybe some weird comfort with transition points. I was like, this might be something I need to explore is like, why do I like this in between space? But you know, I think the reality is I…

love to help people get to wherever they’re going. And like in these transition moments, you know, we’re all changing all the time, but in these like a little bit more pressure transition moments, they’re huge opportunities to help people be the be a better version of themselves, be the version of themselves that feels more aligned to the one that feels like connected, that they’re purposeful. And I think the impact on the world is huge there.

because so many people have these messy, awful experiences in transitions. And there’s messy, beautiful and messy, awful, right? And in the messy, awful place, the emotional builds and the ripple effects of that are really tough.

You probably know people like this, right? Where you can like see how, even when you get the like, well, I didn’t get that kind of support when I had a kid, or well, I didn’t get this, or well, you’re a new manager, figure it out. Like throwing you in there, right? Without any support or any opportunity to connect. It just like continues to build a negative impact in the world. And so I think supporting people in a way where I really can see them and hold that space, feels like I’m making some sort of purposeful impact.

Fiorenza Rossini (27:22)
And Elysha, you have lost and rebuilt and gone through big transitions yourself. How do you define belonging right now? What’s your definition?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (27:31)
Mmm.

Gorgeous question! Okay.

Fiorenza Rossini (27:34)
Thank

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (27:36)
Okay, I think belonging is really about, for me in this moment is around self-acceptance and comfort with what is, I keep saying it, but with what is here. And therefore it creates like an openness for connection and what’s to come.

So it’s about kind of acceptance, acknowledgement, and maybe spaciousness.

Fiorenza Rossini (28:01)
Have you ever thought about coaching around grief?

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (28:04)
Mm-hmm. Yes. So yes, is my short answer. Although I would say some of my protective friends would probably be like, nah, don’t work on that. You can still, you can stay separate from. But I think that, yes, and I do, like a lot of the people I work with connect with me because they’ve had similar experiences. You know, I write about my grief. I started as a sub stack thinking about all the things, the thing that’s been most present.

is mostly around navigating through my grief, which is now, I’m almost three years since my mom died, but it is, it’s here and there’s always something new to kind of observe or navigate with So I will say it is present in my work. Like some people do seek me out for the shared experience, which is, you know, what we know to be true and helpful.

not always have to explain those pieces. ⁓ And so maybe one day, I guess, is really the answer. that this is, you know what, this focus on the transition, like, to and through parenthood as one of my focus areas is

Fiorenza Rossini (28:52)
out.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (29:07)
I think the push for me to do that was actually about experiencing both things at once. That like losing my mom at the same time that I was birthing a baby was like the weirdest…

confusing, disorienting experience. But A, I’m not alone in that. It happens, unfortunately, all the time. And B, people navigate other things while they’re bringing a child into this world, or becoming a parent, or in any way or shape or form it happens. So it’s all connected.

Fiorenza Rossini (29:36)
It is all connected.

Last year, we had a big kind of scare almost a year ago where we thought that we would lose my mom who has been who has had many kind of physical challenges over the last decade and more. And then also struggling with mental health, probably throughout most of her life. Although that generation you know, she’s a baby boomer.

huge stigma in talking about it, acknowledging that there’s something going on. But the reality is that her anxiety was so present growing up that, you what I came up with my recent therapist when I worked through all of this last year was it felt like anxiety was a family member sitting at a dinner table and there was a chair for anxiety. And sometimes

my mom’s anxiety would be so strong that it would shut up my mom’s actual voice. And I was lucky because my grandma actually, my grandmother, my maternal grandmother was living with us. Long story, but she was living in Italy on her own and we were living in France. And then at some point she moved in when she started to have her own kind of…

health challenges. But she is to me, like reflecting back on my childhood, the rock.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (30:53)
Mm.

Fiorenza Rossini (30:54)
And she was holding me and she was holding my mom and the family.

And I think there’s lots of kind of, I am getting emotional, lots of…

I haven’t fully grieved my grandmother passing away, even if it’s been more than 10 years now, because when she passed away, the focus was on my mom and how she would cope after that big loss. And then last year, I went into that kind of anticipatory grief because we thought that we would lose my mom and we could lose her, but it could take…

you know, her leaving us could be a question of months or a question of years, like there was no, or weeks. Never ask Chad GPT, never, yeah, never do that. But I did do it And it made me spiral. So I went through all that and she’s still with us. She’s…

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (31:39)
You

Fiorenza Rossini (31:46)
has plateaued thankfully but she has still some big challenges and we have also a difficult relationship and then recently my pet got ill and that kind of triggered everything back for anticipatory

And so anyway, I’m sharing all this because I have been looking at what kind of support exists around grief specifically, the before, the during and the after. Because I do think that it has, especially when you’re in unspatory grief, it does…

impact your it can impact your presence with your kids with your loved one with your loved ones so easily.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (32:25)
Hmm. It’s particularly hard because we, it feels like there’s something to do still. You know, like once the loss actually happens, the crisis is over, right? Someone once said that to me and I was like, that’s so true. There was no crisis anymore, right? It’s done.

Fiorenza Rossini (32:38)
Yeah. Yes,

it’s solved not in the way we want it, but it’s solved.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (32:44)
But it’s the reality and the anticipatory piece feels like there’s possible action and so your point earlier about like sitting with two things are true like this can just be really hard and like it’s almost my I see it as like almost it’s my duty or my job to like enjoy what I can in the moment and be present and connect and with that person and myself It’s really hard to get to

Fiorenza Rossini (32:49)
Yes.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (33:06)
And you you said about your grandmother, first of all, I think I have this vision of three generations of women in your house. And I like, it sounds kind of amazing and interesting all at the same time. Like I got a lot of visual there. Although, you know, for me in Europe and it looks, you know, there’s some, some real beauty there. And I think the acknowledgement and, you know, I had a very similar experience where my mother never fully accepted losing her own mother.

Fiorenza Rossini (33:17)
getting heads.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (33:34)
And so I think your point about the anticipatory grief and not knowing what it could look like for you, it’s like you’re gonna have to create your own path or you are creating your own path around that. And that is really hard. My mother never got over losing her mom. Like I think until, really until the day she died, she would say, she died too soon. I don’t wanna talk about it. It’s not right. And she was angry.

That’s a lot. I’m grateful for you sharing.

Fiorenza Rossini (33:59)
Thank you for holding this space for me. I appreciate it. All right, we’ll bring this to a close. Thank you, Elysha.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (34:06)
Thank you.

Elysha Weissglass (she/her) (34:08)
It’s been such a joy to be here. Thank you for having me, Fiorenza.