Every year on International Women’s Day, we celebrate the progress and achievements of women worldwide. But we also reflect on the challenges that are unfortunately still here, year after year – wage gaps, being overlooked for promotions, ideas being dismissed in meetings, or the tightrope women walk between being seen as ‘too assertive’ or ‘too passive’.
Advocating for yourself at work isn’t always easy. But it’s necessary. And just as important as standing up for ourselves is making sure we’re lifting each other up along the way.
This is why I want to talk about why self-advocacy is so hard, how some women have navigated these challenges, and what you can do to start advocating for yourself today.
Why is self-advocacy harder for women?
Many of us were raised to believe that hard work speaks for itself. That if we put in the effort, someone will notice, and we’ll be rewarded accordingly. But at work, especially in corporate environments, it doesn’t always work that way.
Research consistently shows that women are more likely to negotiate their salaries (a change from a decade ago!) but STILL get paid less, are more likely to be interrupted in meetings, and are often evaluated based on personality traits rather than results.
At this point, women do ask for raises or promotions. But when they do, they’re more likely to be perceived negatively for it. A man who asks for a raise is seen as ambitious. A woman who asks is sometimes seen as demanding. These biases make self-advocacy harder AND riskier.
That’s why we have to think of ways to navigate these challenges strategically and find ways to support each other along the way.
Real-life examples of my client’s self-advocacy in action
One of my clients had been working in a senior role for years, consistently outperforming expectations. Yet, every time promotions came up, she was passed over. When she finally asked directly, ‘What do I need to do to be promoted?’ the response was vague.
She decided to be more specific. She booked a meeting with her manager, laid out all she had done, presented industry salary benchmarks, and asked for a clear timeline for advancement.
Do you think this is where the story ends?
No.
She still didn’t get promoted.
And she was done with the way her workplace treated her.
So she decided to find another job – and she did, with a higher salary and responsibilities more suited to her development.
Yes, sometimes we need to take a step back (or forward!) when we find ourselves stuck in place. Leaving can also be an act of resistance!
Another client worked in a male-dominated industry where meetings often felt extremely stressful. When she spoke up, it felt like no one listened. That is, until a male colleague repeated her point, and THEN, suddenly, the idea was ‘brilliant’.
Of course, my client was annoyed. But she managed to find allies. She and a few colleagues started actively backing each other up in meetings. If one of them made a point, the others reinforced it. The dynamic shifted and people started listening.
Self-advocacy can and should involve building a network of people who amplify each other’s voices.
Lifting as we climb
Many of us have been in these situations. And that’s why, beyond advocating for ourselves, we need to try to create spaces where every woman feels supported.
- If you’re in a leadership position, are you mentoring younger women and advocating for their growth?
- If you’re in meetings, are you ensuring women’s contributions are acknowledged?
- If a colleague is facing workplace bias, are you calling it out?
- Are you talking about your salary?
When we lift as we climb, we make the workplace better for ourselves AND the future generations.
5 ways to start advocating for yourself
Self-advocacy is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned and strengthened. Here are some tips from my own and my clients’ experiences:
Know your value. Keep track of your accomplishments. I know I keep on mentioning this but it’s so important! These compliments from the upper management or the clients can be easily lost in email/Slack and it might be difficult trying to find them again. Document the impact of your work, whether it’s increasing revenue, improving processes, or mentoring others. When you have concrete examples, it’s easier to make your case when asking for a raise or promotion.
Find your allies. Having a strong support system at work often makes a huge difference. They can be your mentors or just the colleagues who get it and have your back.
Set boundaries. Women are often expected to take on extra emotional labour at work– even if a lot of us are past the coffee making for the boardroom, there is still a lot of invisible labour, like being asked to organise team events, handle office conflicts that have nothing to do with us, or pick up slack when others don’t. Try to set your boundaries from day 1, that will make it easier in the long run.
Keep learning. The more you grow your skills, the more confident you’ll feel in advocating for yourself. Your development is always worth it!
All in all…
Self-advocacy isn’t selfish. It’s how we create fairer workplaces. And collective advocacy (supporting, mentoring, and amplifying other women) is how we ensure that progress isn’t just individual, but systemic.
I want to ask: what’s one step you can take to advocate for yourself or another woman in your workplace? Have you ever had to advocate for yourself at work? What worked (or didn’t)?
And if this topic resonated with you, hit subscribe for more career insights 💜
P.S. Take a look at the episode of The Belonging Project Podcast I’ve released with my guest Laura Howard MSc – psychologist, executive coach, and expert in female leadership.
We talk about the realities of women at the top:
💬 How can women overcome barriers in leadership?
💬 How can women find belonging in male-dominated spaces?
💬 How can workplaces truly support female leaders?
In this episode, we explore how confidence, mentorship, and supportive workplace cultures can create real change.
🎙️ As I say in the episode: ‘Motherhood and a successful career are not mutually exclusive.’
🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0lgyEtNCwzEcJFuciNqEbp?si=nm7hsF8xTla6TMDNQCKYrw
🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-belonging-project-podcast/id1582774163?i=1000698558396
🎧 Listen on Substack & join the conversation: https://open.substack.com/pub/belongingproject/p/women-in-leadership-overcoming-barriers?r=1bsbiq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true