How to manage career change guilt?

You found your new perfect role. It aligns with your goals for your career and you seem to get on very well with the hiring manager. It’s time to put in your notice for the job you have right now – but for some reason, you feel guilty and stressed out about doing it.

Why do we feel so guilty?

That feeling of guilt can be there because of various reasons and is always very personal.

It might be that you had an amazing time at your job and feel bad about leaving your colleagues or managers for something else. You’re probably wondering how things will run without you, or if your team will be left in the lurch. You might feel like you’re walking away from a good thing and worry that you’ll disappoint the people who’ve treated you well.

On the other hand, maybe the job atmosphere was toxic and you pretty much hated working there but bonded with your colleagues about your joint experiences – now you feel guilty leaving them to the wolves while you go off to the greener pastures. You also might feel guilty about the thought of your replacement stepping into the chaos.

Ultimately, the guilt often comes from a sense of loyalty or fear of letting others down.

The impact of staying too long

Whatever the reason is, you have to ask – are you being fair to yourself?

There’s a saying about putting your oxygen mask first and I think it really applies in this situation.

We often think that sticking around longer is the ‘noble’ thing to do. Gallup’s 2024 report found that only 23% of employees are truly engaged at work and 52% of employees say they are watching for or actively seeking a new job. If you’re feeling disengaged, you might start feeling burnout or resentment.

If your job has an amazing atmosphere and you have good relationships with everyone around you – wouldn’t they want what’s best for you, for you to try new things and develop your career? You’re allowed to outgrow even a good situation.

And well, if you’re at a toxic workplace, you’re doing yourself a huge favour not just for your career growth but also for your mental health.

How to handle this transition

So how do you navigate this transition without feeling overwhelmed by guilt?

If you’re leaving a great job…

Take the time to thank your colleagues and managers for the positive experiences you’ve had. Not just for a good reference but also because you never know how life can bring you together with someone again.

If you can, lend a hand with the transition. Leave throughout documentation and if time allows maybe even start training someone who will take your role. Personally, it also helps alleviate any worries you might have about ‘letting people down’.

If you’re leaving a toxic job…

Leaving a toxic workplace is an act of self-care. Truly. You don’t owe the company your health or happiness! It’s okay to put yourself first, even if others are still stuck in the same situation. You can help people after you’ve left and when you don’t feel like drowning anymore.

If you’ve been/are getting guilt-tripped into staying longer than you should, just focus on what’s within your control – your decision to leave – and avoid getting pulled back into the toxic dynamics.

It’s your career, own it

At the end of the day, no one else will make these decisions for you.

And if you’re leaving for a better opportunity, you deserve to feel excited!

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, too. If you’ve been through this before, how did you manage the guilt, and what helped you make the transition?

If you would like to chat through it, contact us here.