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Toxic positivity at work – don’t worry, be happy?

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A happy workforce is a profitable company, or however the saying goes, right?

Motivational quotes on office walls, cheerful team-building exercises, HR initiatives.

But we all know workplaces where being positive is ALL that you’re allowed to be.

I wanted to talk a bit about what toxic positivity looks like, is your company guilty of encouraging it and how to move towards a healthier balance.

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is the excessive and often inappropriate insistence on maintaining a positive outlook, even in difficult situations.

Positivity itself isn’t the issue – what makes it toxic is when it becomes a blanket response that disregards the fact that most people haven’t been replaced by AI yet…and so, they do experience a full range of emotions! Shocking, I know.

How to recognize toxic positivity in your workplace

Toxic positivity isn’t always easy to spot. It often comes from a place of good intentions and it’s sometimes hard to get a feeling when the regular positivity starts veering into something worse. However, here are a few signs:

  • Challenges or conflicts are swept under the rug to maintain a cheerful atmosphere, which makes those conflicts only fester and encourages talking behind people’s backs and building resentment.
  • Teams are pressured to focus solely on solutions, there are no discussions on how certain decisions affect everyone.
  • Employees expressing struggles are met with cliches instead of genuine support. It’s a bit of a stereotype but it’s true that after expressing a genuine worry or asking for support a person might be told about the weekly pizza Fridays or a bean bag chair corner instead.
  • When toxic positivity comes from leadership, it can also create a culture of inauthenticity, where employees feel they must ‘fake it’ to fit in.
  • It can come from employees too (especially in a generally toxic workplace). They might start self-censoring themselves to avoid being seen as a ‘downer’ and someone who always brings up issues.

In practice, it can sound like this:

‘Don’t bring the mood down!’

‘You’re too sensitive and should toughen up’

‘Don’t worry about it – you’re making it a bigger deal than it is’

Dismissing genuine struggles with platitudes damages trust – between the teams and their leaders, and generally the company and its employees.

How to work towards healthy positivity?

Of course, it depends on how much influence you have in your workplace. Sometimes, if you’re not high up or up for a promotion soon you might not feel like rocking a boat and that is fair.

But here are my thoughts:

If you are in a team with toxic positivity:

Be work-appropriately honest

You don’t need to overshare. But for example, if you sense that everyone’s struggling with a project, you expressing that can signal to others that it’s safe to share their feelings too.

Support your colleagues, especially if they’re not being supported by the management

Become one another’s support system. Your support can make a significant difference because sometimes, all it takes is one person willing to listen. Show that you’re available as a resource but make sure to have boundaries too.

You can be the change!

If toxic positivity is pervasive, you can tactfully challenge it (if you’re in a place to do so).

And when your team achieves a win, acknowledge the effort and difficulties it took to get there, not only the fact that it’s done. Sometimes, saying, ‘This sucked, but we got through it and look at our results!’, can be more cathartic than anything.

Take care of yourself

Being surrounded by toxic positivity can be draining, so do protect your own emotional health. You don’t need to absorb everyone’s emotions or solve every problem and it’s always okay to step back when you need to recharge.

If the environment feels overwhelming, consider talking to a coach to develop coping strategies.

Now, if you are in a leadership position:

Normalise a full range of emotions

Encourage people to express themselves, which means creating an environment where it’s okay to say when you’re struggling. Leaders can model this behaviour by being honest about their own challenges. A seemingly picture-perfect leader who never experiences a problem in their life is often not as motivating as they think!

Validate, don’t dismiss

Validation is key to building trust. When employees share concerns, acknowledge their feelings. Before jumping to solutions, check in. Ask, ‘Would you like advice, or would you prefer I just listen?’ Sometimes problems are nobody’s fault and people just want to feel heard.

Train leaders to spot and avoid toxic positivity (in themselves and others!)

If you’re a leader yourself, assess where you stand and see if there is anything that can be improved for the better. Talk to your teams too, hopefully you’ve fostered a nice enough atmosphere where people feel comfortable telling the truth.

Shift to real support

The best workplaces aren’t the ones where everyone is happy all the time – they’re the ones where everyone feels seen, heard, and supported, no matter what they’re going through. Listen to your people and make the changes accordingly.

Have you experienced toxic positivity at work? How did it impact you or your team? How do you personally perceive the difference between a healthier work environment?

P.S. Toxic positivity is not the only toxic behaviour we encounter in the workplace. I just released a podcast with a behaviour disruptor and corporate psychologist Zora Lazarov, where we talk about:

Zora’s unique approach to identifying and mitigating toxic behaviours that undermine team morale, and how leaders can shift from reactive to proactive strategies;

The concept of anti-fragility (thriving through disruption) and how important it is in today’s volatile workplace environments;

And of course practical tips for leading teams through disruption and change.

🎧 Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4UOWc2L09RyGN0DfQhIJGk?si=DBYpTOY0SXyEDKFLVjXVOw

🎧 Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-belonging-project/id1582774163?i=1000683910662